This is something you need to sit down with your wife and discuss at the first opportunity, if for no other reason than your own happiness. She WILL be sending money home. For many different reasons. You need to work something out as soon as you can.
When my wife Joy first arrived here, she was lucky enough to get a job in the first month of her being here. And her first paycheck was sent home. I had planned to put that money toward our first food bill and fill up the pantry. She had planned to send it home. Now seeing as how i had done a little research on the Philippine Culture before i was able to get my wife here, i knew what was coming. Right then and there we sat down and had a talk about how much money she was planning to send home, how often, and for how long. We worked out a schedule and have kept to it, pretty much, for a little over two years now. Right now one check goes home and one check goes to our own family budget. So she is sending half of her wages home. She has been doing this for two years.
Of course not everything goes according to plan, and sometimes something will pop up at home where she needs to send an extra check. That is fine. But when that happens, we get back on schedule as soon as possible, and keep the emergencies to a minimum.
Most of the money is going to build a house for the family in Baguio and to pay for schooling and University for her brothers and sisters. Well the house is close to being finished. So the plan is getting close to being done. Now, just some more schooling to pay for.
Of course like i said, there is always emergencies to deal with. The main one is medical emergencies. I sometimes wonder how the people there survive a medical emergency. It costs so damn much. The whole medical system is so currupt. It costs a fortune to treat someone there that i wonder how anyone can afford it based on what the average pay is for a Philippine citizen there. That will always stay a mystery to me though. Oh well.
But back to our agreement. When we sat down and discussed what we would do we decided on two years of no questions asked sending money home. Then in the third year we would continue to send money home, but slowly decrease how much. After three years we would start to save for our own family. We are now into the third year of our agreement. So far we have had very few disagreements over money.
You may find that even though you make an agreement regarding sending money home, that your lovely wife will make plans to send more money home whenever something pops up at home and will not let you know until she actually gets paid. I had that happen a couple of times. It can be really difficult if you are on a tight budget. You are planning to spend money on groceries with her check and when you get home she says lets go to the western union, i need to send money home. All you can say is what???? These plans come up when she calls home and she finds out about some emergency and does not want to tell me until the last minute in case i get mad. It took me a few times to make her understand that i get madder when she makes these plans without letting me know until the last minute because i end up having to juggle our bills and hope we can get through the next couple of weeks until payday. But we ended up having to sit down and talk this out after the first three times.
The best you can do is put a smile on your face and struggle through it. So don't be afraid to have that money talk as soon as you can, and get some guidelines set out so you don't have issues popping up all the time regarding money. There is nothing that will tear your family apart more than argueing about money, and her not being able to help out her family. And if you have been married for two years or more, then your family too now.
So honey, when you talk to mom tonight, give her my love, ask how the house is coming, and see how your brothers and sisters are doing in school. Love ya Babe....
