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I did a bit of research on the Philippine culture before i married my wife, so that i had a bit of an understanding of what i was getting myself into right from the start. So i understood up front right at the beginning what i would have to put up with in order to keep our house happy.
So shortly after my wife arrived here in Canada i made a deal with my wife. In order for her to send money home she would have to go to work. We could not afford to send anything living on my paycheck alone. She would have to get a job. After that she had two options. She could send home one paycheck per month (we are both on bi-weekly so we only get two checks each per month) and we keep the other for ourselves, or she could send home her pay for one month and we keep the next month, and just keep rotating. I asked her to pick one. And this was not dictated to her, we arrived at these choices after we sat down and talked about what she planned to do about money after she arrived here. I brought up the subjest to her about sending the money home. She was thinking about it but at the time was too shy to broach the subject with me in case i would get mad. She was soooo relieved when i brought up the subject. That's what doing a little research will do for you guy's.
On my part, i promised myself that as long as she didn't try changing the bargain without my knowledge then i would NEVER complain about her sending the money.
We ended up going with the one month sending home and one month keeping for our own expenses.
After you get that settled you have to decide on for how long this will go on for. We settled on three years. With her working we were going to hold off on her getting pregnant for three years and she could send her money home for that period, without any complaint from me. At the end of three years she would be done and we would start worrying about starting and taking care of our own family.
It has been approx 2 1/2 years for us and money was never an issue. But what happened is my wife got pregnant. So that threw a monkey wrench into the whole thing. We had to push the date up a bit for when we stopped sending money home. We decided to make up the difference of the lost 6 months to come by sending that balance home at christmas time. It worked for us as december was a 3 pay month for the both of us. With all of that we send one big check and we were done. Now it was up to her parents to do the best with it. The are starting a business with the final lump sum we sent. My wife is fully in agreement with me that we kept our agreement in sneding money and now we keep our agreement in not sending money. The family was made aware that unless it is an absolute emergency (medical only) we ware finished. They now have to make it on their own. She helped her family tremendously (she cleared $1100.00 per paycheck) over the past three years. Now we look after ourselves. We now have our own baby on the way that we have to start planning for. So far my wife has been in complete agreement. I think it helped greatly laying out some ground rules right from the beginning. And that was all because of a little bit of cultural research on my part before she came here. You HAVE to know what is important to your new spouse. Especially if she is from a different culture than you. Learn it up front guy's, and eliminate a LOT of issues before they can start. Because you can take it from me, money issues will ruin your marriage more than anything else. So learn what you can live with first, and THEN sit down and YOU bring up the subject with her as soon as she gets there. It will show her that you care enough about her and her worries beforehand and stop the troubles later.
Good luck with your life with your new Bride's, whichever culture they are from. But learn that culture guy's. Beforehand.
Beware, they marry the money, not the man! If you tell her to stop sending money she will then do it SECRETLY! U have been warned!
ReplyDeleteYou are a very nice husband! But anyway, if your wife explained to her family that she didn't marry a rich guy probably her family will understand if she can't send money to them. I am a Filipino married to American and I do have a job but I just send money to mom occasionally and the last time I sent her, it was 3 years ago. I want to help my husband too. I love my family but I love my husband very much and I will not tolerate them for just sitting down and not working their butt so they can support themselves. When I was in the Philippines I worked hard but some of my brothers were not. So if they doesn't have a job - of course there's no income. Same thing here in America - I work hard and I can't stand that I will just send some of my money to them knowing that they're not working. I am willing to help them if I will see any effort that they're willing to help themselves too. I hated it when I gave money to my mom and my mom just gave it to my 2 lazy brothers. I think that was very unfair. One thing that I don't like is when my sister told me lies about my mom that she was sick even if she wasn't. But I still sent money but that was the last time. I was helping to pay their phone bills and then later I have to pay bills for 2 months, so what happened to the money that I sent to pay for the last month. So I didn't send money anymore. If I can't send money right away, they were mad at me. So what the heck! Some Filipinos telling me that their family are not like that, so I just told them that I am very unfortunate. Probably by now, they learned a lesson from it, I hope so. Right now, I am enjoying life with my very nice husband. He work, I work - we are not rich and we just have one car but we are happy. I cook for him everyday, thanks goodness he loves my cooking! You would hear him said "oh honey, this is really good or honey, you are an amazing cook." and that's all I want to hear from him. By the way "NOT ALL FILIPINO WOMEN JUST MARRIED FOR THE MONEY". I married my husband because I love him and all I want from him is to love me back.
ReplyDeletewhatever the agreement is, it should be an AGREEMENT between two adult equal parties. I'm a non-rich American husband of a pilipina in the same situation. For the most part I have been undertanding of her sending money to Philippines, but the times I have not been happy with were times when she made huge money contracts with her filipino family's debtors that involved sending huge sums monthly WITHOUT consulting with me first. She told me about it after the deal was already made, and then was upset at me for being upset that I was not consulted with first.
ReplyDeleteWhatever the case, filipino or not, all major decisions like that in a marriage should be DISCUSSED and AGREED TO FIRST by BOTH parties! Admittedly I am more saying this as a warning to the American party. I'm Filipino too, btw, but a Fil-Am U.S. Citizen.
I am filipina im single i work here in saudi arabia as RN but i send money to my family once a year on christmass time . Divorced your wife and marry me,,,,,,,,, lol
ReplyDeleteI should have married you...lol The one whom I thought was amazing and married turned into a constant complainer about every single thing on earth. What ever it is that's wrong, it's always my fault even if i"m not there or know about it, it's still my fault. If her family needs money which it everyday, it's my fault she hasn't sent it to them because she's too ignorant to use a computer except for skype, but knows every slot machine in the local casinos. It's gotten so bad I actually stay late at work just so I don't have to listen to her constant bitching and complaining. it's actually a pleasure when she leaves to go gamble as I then get peace and quiet and can enjoy eating a dinner with no complaining..oh and yes I cook my own dinner and clean up just so she won't bitch about having to find something to cook for me.
DeleteI think you married my wife. except for the gambling (my wife buys things just because they are on sale not because we need them) I work 6 days a week so I don't have to be around her and her whining about money.
Deletei notice you are saying only about money when you mention your wife. Why? is it so important when people love each other? of course no. It only shows that you don't trust her because she is pinay. If she earns money she can support her family if she wants, because their culture demand to care for older people, that's a part of filipino's mentality.
ReplyDeleteMy experience has been filipina women will lie and deceive you in order to send money home. They'll make up emergencies happening at home in order to get your money. Don't trust a filipina as far as you can throw her. They also like to look like the "rich American" to their relatives, even though it's YOUR money. The comment above is correct, they will deceive you and send money home secretly. They'll run up credit card balances, take out signature loans they can't pay back, anything to get money. Do yourself a favor guys.......stick to American women.
ReplyDeleteI married a Filipina.. its now 9 years. Best thing I ever did. Yes she sends money home... a couple hundred a month that she works for (not her entire check by far) I now find myself unemployed after a 5 figure a month job. The check is dearly missed. But no complaints out of her as I try to start a new business that is not making a profit yet. American women are (in my experience) much more demanding, much less understanding. I understand the bad experiences guys have had. Also seen some bad experiences for the girls, who some guys think are just domestic help and sexual gratification on demand. Takes 2 to make a good marriage. And I've found its pretty easy w. Filipinas if you don't sweat the small stuff
DeleteI married a Filipino. When I looked at the bank account one day I noticed 1,000 withdraw. I ask my wife and she came up with the dumbest story that I knew was a lie.I found she sent it to the Philippines. I was going to divorce her as trust is a big important issue with me. but she said she would never do it again. Well you probably already guessed she is still sending money every month.I'm 62 she is 57. I told we need to save money for our retirement. I didn't mind when it was a medical emergency or funeral expenses but now we pay for their food and bills. I pretty ready for a divorce before I inherit any family money so she can't get her hands on any of it.
DeleteIn our situation, it also started with the parents, but it didn't take long before the brothers and the sisters were starting to ask. Later on cousins, nephews. Currently, the parents get support and 2 cousins who go to college: allowance, dorm, food, etc. On top of that there are the "emergencies". Every month there are extras. I'm sick and tired of it. We are still together but our marriage is ruined because of the endless quarrels we have about her stupid, lazy relatives. And my wife is always taking their side against me. Last month she borrowed 500$ from a pinay friend behind my back. I found out later. She still get angry with me because "I don't understand the situation in Philippines". My advice is : never marry a Filipina or you are in for a very tough ride.
ReplyDeleteMy filipina wife did the same thing, borrowed a $1000 dollars to send to her family for another quick rich business that will never happen, at least they have party money for a month now. Sending her home for vacation (she doesn't know it's a one way ticket) so she can help run the new business ...hahahaha
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ReplyDeleteI have my suspicions about those who post around the interest saying things like 'been married to my sweet pinay for xx number of years and its great' ... well if it sounds too good to be true then it is . certainly it is not the full story. those who say their filipina doesn't ask for money and the guy is doing it willingly of his own choosing so to speak well we all know how women can manipulate and use silent treament and so on to get what they want without overtly demanding it ... and then the simple fact that there are a number of guys out there with fairly good income that don't mind a couple hundred each month going to those supposedly poor people.... little does he know that they squander and party with that money. then you'll see all around the internet filipinas posting that most common 'NOT ALL filipina' horse shit ... they love to play with words. Yes of course not all but when you're trying to find a needle in a haystack its pretty much almost all as a culturally ingrained mentality to live off of others hard earnings while they are able bodied but too lazy to work themselves. all of this goes on even without the foreigner in the picture... out of a family of 10-15 one of them will work or work abroad or perhaps even marry a foreigner and get to america, whichever the case. and that one person will support all of their lazy asses. and they will whip and guilt that person into sending money endlessly. its not as if any of them are starving. they party and buy new iphones ... free loaders and con artists
ReplyDeletewhy marry Philippina..? so many other girls from other culture without this situation of money. You need to explore the world and settle for someone who hasn't these requirements. There are many culturally negative aspects, for example gossiping, and materialism. Yes her family may need the money...so she marries you and then you are the vehicle of support? And what's this about 1 month on and off...and stuff like that. She is your wife now she should work for your household improve. Of course she is happy you brought it up, you did the work for her. Why didn't she bring this up very up front at the beginning. You are just a sucker...and all the philipinos are the same. They bleed the whites...cause in their life ...that's how they survive. You are her Robin Hood...but you thought you get the Queen, but you didn't you got a peasant.
ReplyDeleteHello everyone i want to share a live testimony on how Dr. momodu was able to bring my husband back to me, myself and my husband were on a serious breakup, even before then we were always quarreling fighting and doing different ungodly act..
ReplyDeleteMy husband packed his things out of the house and we had to live in different area, despite all this i was looking for a way to re_unite with my husband, not until i met Dr. momodu the great spell caster who was able to bring my husband back home, Dr. momodu cast a love spell for me, and after some time i started seen results about the spell....
Today my family is back again and we are happy living fine and healthy, with Dr. momodu all my dream came through in re_uniting my marriage, friends in case you need the help of Dr.momodu kindly mail him on( dr.momodulovespell@gmail.com ) Sir i will forever recommend you!!!
I have been married to a filipina i sponsered as my wife for 5 years now and i can tell you she thinks of Money Kids and maybee husband in that order. I lived in the philippines a year and yes i know about their poor country. My wife would send every cent she makes if i let her. Her kids are all over thirty married with kids some have jobs that cannot make it without help . Helping them out once in a while is fair but all the kids are taking advantage and milking her dry. She is 63 years old and will work till she drops dead. That means she is nothing to me as a Wife. As far as i have seen every philipino ive met will do anything to get out of the philippines. I dont blame them by why at the Husbands expectations of having a wife with the loving and kindness that goes with it?
ReplyDeleteOnly 3 years,,,haha that's unlikely.
ReplyDeleteOnly 3 years,,,haha that's unlikely.
ReplyDeleteI'm a filipina... And planning to marry man from UK.. But I feel worried because I heard that most of foreign people think that Filipinos are just after money... And yes one of my worries if he can understand me sending money to my family... I'm independent breadwinner I support my mum since my dads died and addopt my twin nephew.. But I do working hard to support them never ask other people to help me.. I'm worried to start new life with him maybe because he doesn't understand my culture that u considered as my obligation all my life... He ask me to marry him and help me to help my family but I still get confused... I really love him and really want to share my life with him but there's something stopping me behind my heart that I still don't know what or why?
ReplyDeleteI'm a filipina... And planning to marry man from UK.. But I feel worried because I heard that most of foreign people think that Filipinos are just after money... And yes one of my worries if he can understand me sending money to my family... I'm independent breadwinner I support my mum since my dads died and addopt my twin nephew.. But I do working hard to support them never ask other people to help me.. I'm worried to start new life with him maybe because he doesn't understand my culture that u considered as my obligation all my life... He ask me to marry him and help me to help my family but I still get confused... I really love him and really want to share my life with him but there's something stopping me behind my heart that I still don't know what or why?
ReplyDeleteLife is all about good and bad experience
ReplyDeleteLife is all about good and bad experience. It was all good and lovely when i met joelly, she was a good business woman until things become rough for her and her business empire started liquidating. I was a very courageous and hardworking man so i decided to sell my inheritance to assist . We both struggle together and built the business world again. This time around the business was growing from strength to strength. I was surprise one Sunday evening when she came home with her secretary and told me that we cannot continue with this pretense called love. I was shocked and heart broken, i was in a friend, house for three weeks frustrated until i met Fernando my old friend at the supermarket, he directed to me to Dr saka. I contacted saka and he told me that Joelly was been manipulated by some spiritual power and he told me to provide some items which he is going to use to destroy the evil spirit. I never believe in voodoo but i had to give him a trial. To my greatest surprise, Joelly called and started apologizing 2 days after i sent Dr. Saka the email. I am very happy and will continue to be happy for the good work the Saka has done in my life. Problems are been solved when good people like Saka are on this planet, please contact him through ultimatespearcast@gmail.com if you need any support in any problems in life. I love Dr Saka ... :)
This is Angel Sean from USA, am sharing this article to give thanks to Dr.Vanisa, who helped me to bring back my EX lover that broke up with me for 2 months. I was searching for advise on what to do to get back my EX lover and i came across a post of a woman in USA called Angela Shuane giving thanks to Dr.Vanisa, for helping her to get back her lost HUSBAND who left her for years with her kids. I contacted the spell caster for help due to the fact that i needed my EX lover desperately because he is my lover and my life. To God be the glory, my EX lover came back to me within 12 to 16 after Dr.Vanisa, finished preparing the spell and i want the world to join me to give thanks to Dr.Vanisa, for helping me. Viewers reading my article that also need his help should contact Dr.Vanisa, with his email : [vanisaspellcaster@gmail.com]...he do cure nerve problem.....
ReplyDeleteHello everyone i want to share a live testimony on how Dr. momodu was able to bring my husband back to me, myself and my husband were on a serious breakup, even before then we were always quarreling fighting and doing different ungodly act..
ReplyDeleteMy husband packed his things out of the house and we had to live in different area, despite all this i was looking for a way to re_unite with my husband, not until i met Dr. momodu the great spell caster who was able to bring my husband back home, Dr. momodu cast a love spell for me, and after some time i started seen results about the spell....
Today my family is back again and we are happy living fine and healthy, with Dr. momodu all my dream came through in re_uniting my marriage, friends in case you need the help of Dr.momodu kindly mail him on( dr.momodulovespell@gmail.com ) Sir i will forever recommend you!!!
This is Angel Sean from USA, am sharing this article to give thanks to Dr.Vanisa, who helped me to bring back my EX lover that broke up with me for 2 months. I was searching for advise on what to do to get back my EX lover and i came across a post of a woman in USA called Angela Shuane giving thanks to Dr.Vanisa, for helping her to get back her lost HUSBAND who left her for years with her kids. I contacted the spell caster for help due to the fact that i needed my EX lover desperately because he is my lover and my life. To God be the glory, my EX lover came back to me within 12 to 16 after Dr.Vanisa, finished preparing the spell and i want the world to join me to give thanks to Dr.Vanisa, for helping me. Viewers reading my article that also need his help should contact Dr.Vanisa, with his email : [vanisaspellcaster@gmail.com]...he do cure nerve problem.....
ReplyDeleteSo far so good i give thanks to Dr.Ogudugu for great work he did for me during my time of distress, And i have never seen anything that works so fast and so effective like the spell that Dr.Ogudugu cast on my lover which brought my lover back to me. Here is Dr.Ogudugu details: greatogudugu@gmail.com or WhatsApp No: +2348139793075 for further inquiry and assistance.
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ReplyDeleteI was in total despair when I found Dr. Todd. My life was going terrible and I didn't know if I was coming or going. I had just gone through a rough divorce, wasn't making enough money to sustain me and my children, and my 17 year old son had just gone to jail for the first time. When I talked to him, I immediately found a sense of peace. He was very honest with me and I could feel that. He also told me that everything would be okay. After my work began, things began to change. My bills were all caught up, the relationship I was in became much stronger, I was never FLAT broke, and my son was released from jail earlier than we expected!! I also completely got over the failed marriage and began to move on. And, received a better position at my job which will cause an $800 per month increase!! I felt completely comfortable with the work that was being done because I was always encouraged by Dr. Todd. manifestspellcast@gmail.com is the BEST!!!!
You should look up Eurasian Writer as he writes about the issues of having a loser father who found an Asian wife
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